Patong Intro

Ok, here is the official tour guide book take on Patong

"Patong Beach is the foremost beach resort of Phuket which can complete with any other famous beaches of the world.  Patong Beach is widely known among Thais and foreigners because of two important factors.  One is its natural beauty, the white sandy beach, plentiful sunshine, clear turquoise sea, fantastic underwater life."

Ok, here is our general take on Patong

Right off the bat, don't come to Patong for the beaches, come to Phuket for the beaches yes, but not Patong.  In a few short years Patong's waters have become very dirty and will soon be no better then the beaches in Pattaya which are unsafe to swim.  So lets get that out of the way, you are coming to Patong for SEX.  I find Patong to be a little too much and do not like to stay here, I feel that the Thais here are very Jaded and corrupt and get the "lets fuck this farang for as much money we can" attitude way too much.  I like to stay outside of Patong and when I am looking for the pumping life night I can take a Tuk Tuk for a few baht and be there with in minutes.  Patong is way over priced during the high season, Phuket has a definite high and low season with the peak high occurring during Jan -Mar, and the low starting about May and continuing all the way through early December.  The girls and bar owners make all their money or profit during high season while just breaking even if not loosing money during the low season.  This is why the prices soar during high season, if they don't make enough during this time they might go under during the low season.  During the low season things seem to come back to reality and more in line with Bangkok or Pattaya.  During high season Patong is PACKED! while during low season I have been to Soi Bangla and only seen other ex-pats (a foreigner who lives in Thailand) in the bars.

Back to Top

Prices List

It is hard to pin down the exact prices here in Patong because there seem to be so many variables.  The biggest being, high or low season then, the girl, bar location, and your looks, if your a young good looking guy, you will be able to find free sex all over the place, pay the bar fine more then likely and take them to the discos or just go to the discos and pick them up like you would at home.  But below is our attempt at a price guide, use this only as a bench mark as your prices may vary.

Back to Top

Ago go Bars

There are only a few Ago-go bars in Patong with Rock Hard being the busiest and with the most ladies.  Click here for a map.

Rock Hard

This is the King of Ago-go's here is Patong, this place rocks for sure if your into partying hard this is the place!  Rock Hard is packed pretty much every night during high season and will be one of the few bars that are busy during the low season.  The reason, Ladies, they have the most ladies of any other Ago-go in Patong.  Great location, they are in a very good location so they get a lot of foot traffic, it seems that people like to follow the crowd so if they see a bar that is busy they go and check it out the busier it is the more it attracts, this is Rock Hard.  If you looking for a mellow laid back place to sip a few and check out ladies this would not be the place.  If you looking for hard core parting with wall to wall people and hundreds of hot young little things around to play with then this is the place for you.

Extasy

"Note" sorry guys but this place is now closed.

This place is one of my favorites, it's mellow, never had a problem, this is a place to kick back sip your drink and play with the ladies.  The inside is huge and so you never feel boxed in, even when there are a lot of people inside, the AC is good and the place is basically well run and maintained.  The ladies are wicked friendly and not pushy but.

Flash

Great looking women, on average I would say the best looking over all out of all the Ago-go's.  What I don't like about Flash is that it is too small, you are always elbow to elbow with someone., and the AC sucks along with the sound system.  If it wasn't for the quality of the ladies they have I would rank this one near the bottom.

Playschool

A small Ago go but I love those school girl uniforms.  Good AC, good music and I have found some very attractive women out of here.  The staff is friendly and overall a nice little Ago-go.

Models

A Chinese themed Ago-go, small, that has just been remolded.

Pink Panther

Just reopened, Ago-go on Soi Sea Dragon, more of the same.

Bang Bang

 Another new Ago go in Soi Sea Dragon, the manager used to work at Rock Hard so she brought over a lot of girls, Rock Hard girls at a cheaper price.

Show Girls

Very small Ago-go, this place is dirty and a bit on the sleazy side, never have gotten a good feeling about this place.  The girls were pushy as hell and I always felt that I was just get ripped off some how.

Back to Top

Beer Bars

Within a 1 mile radius around Bangla Rd there are over 200 Beer Bars. The bars are nothing more than benches with roofs over there heads, most no larger than 3 square meters one right after the other. These bars can have any where from 5 to 20 lovely little Thai ladies calling out for your attention, affection and of course your dollars.

There is a lot of action going on, in and around these bars and for the first time visitor a flood of bright lights, sounds, smells and beautiful ladies.  The atmosphere is mostly laid back and you can sit in one of the many bars and just soak it all in. In high season Patong is packed with people from all over the world and Patong takes on a very international and cosmopolitan feel.

While sitting at the bar there is all kinds of games that you can play with any of your new found friends. Games such as bang the nail into the lump of tree stump are popular. Connect Four, Backgammon or the Thai version of Ka Plunk are also in vogue. Some of the slightly larger bars have pool tables and dart boards and this becomes an affordable nightly ritual for a lot of people. You have something to eat in one of the many restaurants and then settle for a few beers before retiring, keeping in mind that there is always many options for those who want to party on into the night.

Most of the Sois along Bangla road are all basically the same with a few distinct personality traits that we will attempt to point out below.

Soi Gonzo

The namesake of the Soi is the Gonzo Bar, this is a mellow relaxing place to kick back have a few beers and play a game of pool or two.  Remember to use the chalk board to sign up for the pool table and don't jump the line, as the reg's (which there are a lot of here) don't take too kindly on that.

Soi Kotoy

Also know as Soi Crocodile, but less and less now with the popularity of Lady-boys rising.  The 1st thing you notice right away, of course, are the Lady-boys out front hawking for the Lady-Boy cabaret show in the back.  The next thing that you notice is the amount of western couples there are, this place has turned into a real tourist attraction and is packed all the time!  You have Lady-boys parading up and down the Soi with some even showing off and flashing their newly purchased tits and sometimes even their pussies.  But don't take a picture unless your willing to give a tip for it, because they will demand one from you.  With all this going on you can't help but to have a good time, and there are real women here as well.  Don't worry about getting fooled, they really don't do that, be up front if you don't like Lady-boys, they will leave you alone and the real ladies will be more then happy to come and sit in their place.

Soi Eric

Flash Ago-go is at the very end of this Soi, half the fun of getting their is going through the gauntlet of women from the Beer Bars.   I don't know what it is but it seems like in this Soi they are much more physical then any other Soi, they are on you like white on rice, pushing, pulling, pleading even begging at times to come and sit down at their bar.  And they really can get physical, I am a big guy, and I've had three or four of these girls literally dragging me across the Soi to sit (maybe I wanted to go a little).  Now this can be fun and everything, the 1st few times, but after a while it does get old.  Sometimes all you want to do is just get to Flash and not have it take you 30 minutes to plow your way through hundreds of Bar Girls.  Every one should have this problem, I know, whining too much, but if you just want to go to Flash, gently and politely push your way through and just keep saying Flash Ago-go, they will understand.  The other thing you want to do is that if one gets her hand on you gently take it off, if three or four get on you, your gone, all your friends will see of you is the soles of your feet kicking as your being dragged off to god knows where.  It kind of reminds me of the movie Jurassic Park, you know the little dinosaurs that if found one or two at a time, not a problem, throw a rock and they scatter, but get a bunch of them together and they can take down the biggest guy on the block.

Soi SeaDragon

This is one of my favorite Sois, it has a row of Beer Bars down the middle with Ago-gos, restaurants and some Beer Bars along the side.  This Soi also has the most amount of Ago-gos in one place, click here to see the list.  This place is much more relaxed then Soi Eric, here they will just make cat calls to you and wave.  There are some nice bars here, Mickey Mouse for one is very cool, its located at the end of the Soi.  

Soi SeaPearl

There are new Beer Bar Sois popping up all over Patong, but most just don't seem to make it, this one has and is worth talking about.  Soi SeaPearl is located a few streets before Bangla road, click here for a map.  I enjoy it as it is not as cworded as the other Sois and as it is new many, many new lovely ladies to chose from.

Back to Top

Discos

Banana's

The oldest established Disco in Phuket, good lighting and good sound, with lots of free lancers.  There is a 200bht cover charge but this includes 2 drinks.

The Shark

Closed by the government plan to be reopened soon.  This is the biggest Disco in Patong and has been the most popular while it was open.  The Shark by far had the best sound, lighting and interior.  They will open again, its just a matter of when.

Tai Pan

Pumping, this was the after hours party place but with the new laws they now close with everyone else.   They now have live music till midnight with a new interior.  This is the place to go for free lancers.

Tiger Complex

Just opened, very nice, great sound with tons of freelancers.

ViP

Nice interior, with good staff, in fact they have tons of staff everywhere, another free lancer hangout.

Back to Top

Massage

Christine's

This is the only brothel type of Massage in Patong, and the home of the full body massage!  This is an experience that has to be tried once.  A full body massage is where they lay you on a air cushion and  pour warm soapy water all over your body, then they proceed to lay on top of you and slide up and down the length of your body making sure that all the right parts are being held tightly, it is an unbelievable sensation!  I know the cost can be high but if you got it you've got to try this at least once!

When you go to Christine's you will walk up a flight of stairs and enter a long room with some tables and chairs and a bar.  Go ahead and sit down order a drink and in front of you will be the famous glass window.  Behind the glass window will be 30 or more ladies for you to chose.  The ones on the right are called the superstars which means younger and better looking (also more expensive), the ones on your left will be your regular ladies, older but more experience.  I have found the ladies on the left are almost always great fucks were as with the  "superstars" its a hit and miss thing, some are brand new and really don't know what they are doing.  If you can't make up your mind you can also talk to the manager and he will help you pick one out that will do what you need.

Traditional Thai Massage

There are at least 20 of these in Patong doing your basic massage.  You can get a hand job during your massage most times for around 500bht .  Blow jobs and sex can happen but with only a few of the ladies, these prices must be bargained.  The other thing that you can to do is take them out for a day for 1,000bht.  This is not paying for sex but just for their time, if they like you there is a possibility for a freebie and a lot of these ladies are looking for a long term hook up as well.  I would not recommend it but they would be preferable to hooking up with a Bar Girl.

Back to Top

Katoy's and Laydyboys

Coming towards you along Soi Bangla is the perfect picture of female sexiness. Long, rich, dark hair flows down her back, which points suggestively towards the curvaceous and firm buttocks. Big, dark brown eyes look at you with an inviting glance as your mouth starts to water in anticipation but wait...... something just isn't right, question mark.

Yep that's the true allure of the Thai Lady-boys, unlike most of their western counter parts they can seem so damn famine its incredible!  I don't care who you are you will at times be fooled, even those of us that live here have a hard time picking them out.  The ones that are flashy and let it be known who they are can be picked out rather quickly no matter what they look like their attitude gives them away.  But some of the best looking women quietly sitting in one of the Beer Bars looking damn good, more often then most of care to admit,  just might have a swinger between her legs.

The other thing that interest me is that this is not necessarily a Gay thing, talking to the Lady-boys I know, they feel themselves to be women and in no way are they attracted to gay men plus they tell me 99 percent of their customers are straight men.  For us guys I think its got to be the Kink factor, I will be the first to admit that I have been with a Lady-boy before and it was ok, at no time did I feel like I was fucking a man.  I have only done it once, she was a fucking knock out! and I do prefer a woman but if the opportunity shows itself again I would go for it.

!Warnings!
You do have to be careful with Lady-boys, they have been known to roll a few sailors in their time and they can be the most temperamental and vindictive bitches you will ever know.

Where to find them in Patong

Soi Katoy

You will find a few scattered all over Patong with a some working quietly as women (these are the hardest to pick out) in every Soi.  The two spots with the most are  Soi Kotay on Bangla Rd and the Paradise complex, see the map, although the ones at the Paradise complex are more likely to be gay men dressed in drag then a real Lady-boy.  I guess I should go into the difference here a little.  When I say a gay man dressed as a women I mean he's a dude, he likes being a guy and he likes fucking guys as a guy, I hope this makes some sense.  The whole lady-boy thing has really taken off here in Thailand and many Gay men are just trying to get in on the cash flow.  A true Lady-boy works and, most importantly, lives her everyday life as a women, she is not a man in her eyes and would do anything to become a women and is not really a part of the Gay sex industry but a part of the heterosexually sex industry.

At times the ones in Soi Kotoy are a little out there, they are very flashy and what

 people would call flamboyant.  The ones that I prefer are the ones that you really have to be looking for signs in order to know, these can be found in the normal bars all over Patong.  How do you find them if they are so hard to pick out? just ask, find out who the mamma san or manager of the bar is and tell her that you want a good looking lady-boy and she will tell you which one is which, at times they will even go get them from other bars to bring to you.

Lady-boys aren't for everyone but hell your on Holiday!  Try it you might like it!

Back to Top